This parenting business sure isn’t for the faint of heart. As my son makes the transition from baby to toddler (to be fair, he made this transition months ago… I just refuse to accept it) I catch glimpses of his little boy life and it is completely bittersweet. He no longer falls asleep on my chest the way he did when he was a brand new baby and I miss knowing that feeling. Fortunately, my little girl is still in that phase. At 7 weeks, she is doing all of the infant things that I missed the most. Sometimes when I catch these glimpses of a little boy, it catches me so off guard. As if it wasn’t going to happen. But there he is, pushing his construction trucks around the house, trying his best to show us his muscles, and practicing how to jump like a big boy.
Now that we have a newborn, putting my son down for bed is usually my husband’s job since I am with the baby, nursing (my favorite thing, I will save that for another post.) Once in a while, she is content and I can take over the bedtime routine. Sometimes it feels tiring. Rocking, rocking, rocking while he tries his best to fall asleep- but these summer hours just are too bright and exciting for that. But tonight, I didn’t mind the extra time it took us. I gave him a bath, loaded him up with fresh rocket ship pajamas, and read the newest monster book we had chosen at the library this week. He was very sleepy and quiet and I spent these minutes just soaking it all in. Smelling his freshly washed hair, singing my favorite lullaby (yes, a Taylor Swift song), imagining what he will be like in a year, 5 years, 10, and as a grown man. It’s more than a mama’s heart can take to imagine all these things. And so I have to ground myself, focus, and realize his journey has just begun.